A movie so short...

I realise Life is too short for pains and miseries
too short to have a place for pride...
too short for suffocations...
The little time I have,let me live with my loved ones..
Loving and being loved...
When time is too short,life looks so much more alluring...
Pure,glowing and filled with happiness...

Embers...

Hidden,unknown,almost mystical..
Yet I remain a presence undeniable...
An invisible thread binds us; now and forever..
Far yet near,the love flows...
Blowing the ashes over burning hearts...

"...... I hate love.”

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

It's a Neil Gaiman quote...And I feel he is perfectly correct to the last dot...A small dumb act and your life is not yours anymore..You know it is slipping out of your hand..slowly steadily..like sand tricking down an hourglass...You watch the reins you were so sure of;lying limply on the floor...The acts of stupidity does not end there...You keep waiting;remorselessly...So that the dumb person can come back and repeat the dumb act just once again...No he won't..You probably know that more than anyone else...But you still wait...Patiently;hope flared by each ring of your phone,each new mail tag of your inbox...
Life changes,places,friends,offices...The yearning remains the same...you pine for the familiarity of your past...The warmth of the arms that once closed you off from all the world...The soul and the body which cocooned you promising to be there forever...
You close your eyes some nights and you can smell the faint cologne...You can feel the warm breath on your neck...hear the voice...which never professed love...but then both of you had heard the unsaid....It drives you insane;when you open your eyes and don't see the person whom you want the most in your life...And you shrug and carry on as if nothing has ever happened...Secretly you hope for a day when he would comeback...hold you like before and tell you that he has come back never to go away...
Insane and cruel..That was what love was all about...And I hate it for breaking my heart and tearing it into pieces..."...... I hate love.”

GONE WITH THE WIND...

MERRY MANY A YEARS AGO LIVED A GIRL..
DREAMS FILLED HER EYES UPTO THE TIP OF LASH CURL..
NOW DID WE TELL YOU ABOUT HER DREAMS?
HA..PITY!!!THEY WERE ALL GONE WITH THE WIND...

Now reading "Gone with the wind" by Margaret Mitchell...Whenever I read the title it somehow popped up only one word in my head "dreams"...So fragile..So beautiful like a peach blossom...
Wind like a temptress comes in and holds the dream with gentle firmness..they fly the dream and the wind...entwining...appearing and disappearing..finally in milky white mist they become one...and there begone would be my dreams with the winds of reality...

My First Day in School...

I don't remember the very first auto journey to school.But I clearly remember my mom in her black and red sari,my tiny cousin in hand waving a bye.

Under the presumption that my mom must have reminded my auto chettan* that I'm new to the school let's start the story.

Tell you more bout my school,its a small one to start with.Just LKG and UKG , a big play ground and a stream behind it.

Pretty picturesque eh??But between the stream and the play ground is a huge wall that reminded us of the central jail walls.

The constant gush of water and occasional glimpses from the top of the slides were the only proofs of the stream running by.

Anyways on this eventful day my auto driver put me into a class the end of the corridor.There were a lot of tiny tots some crying ,some pulling and pushing one another and utter chaos reigned the realm.I sometimes wonder how KG teachers maintain their sanity on such days.

The only person I knew was Vishalam teacher who was supposed to be my class teacher.I was a bit upset that she hadn't even come to meet us that day.

After lunch,much to my annoyance and many others we were asked to lie down and sleep.While many slept,some naughty ones crawled around pulling shoes off the feet off the blissfully sleeping ones and hiding them.

The restless child in me kept tossing around,watching the leaves moving with the breeze..I was bored lying on my back so I thought of lying down on my stomach..

Voila..Vishalam Teacher..I was so excited to see her...I called out.."teacherrrrrrrrrrrrrr.."...And ran towards her...She took me by my arms and gave me a warm smile...

(I would never forget that...She was such a beautiful lady...and with a glowing smile...)

She put me down and turned around to other fellow teachers..."I was searching for this girl from the morning..She is in my class...UKG A...Wonder who put her in LKG...Is that you Mary

who did it??" Mary Teacher gave her a mock retort.."Oh come on as if I kidnapped her..You keep your girl..I guess the auto guy messed up..."

I moved to UKG -"A" without much fuss..Till date it remains an enigma why my auto chettan put me in LKG..Probably he felt I was too small and put me in the lowest possible class owing to my height n weight those days...

P:S:My mom kept me home till I was 4 and put me to UKG...I skipped my LKG... :D

*chettan-elder brother

Way side station

You have pleasant memories about the station you got down
on a long tiring journey..had a cup of coffee..relaxed as the train waited...
flexed and rejuvanated yourself...But then that is not your destination...
Neither am I...You eventually move on...and I remain a way side station in your journey of life..

It happened to me...Again..

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and I was pretty much jobless. Staring at the ceiling and feeling the cool breeze I was singing myself a lullaby.

That was when suddenly my phone rang breaking the tranquility like a spear…
I lavished on my bed not even flitching my eyebrows…

After 7 years away from home I’m sensible enough to understand that my home landline doesn’t ring for me anymore..(Sigh Sniff Sniff)
Unlike my school days..(haa those were the days)…When 9 on 10 calls were for me…

“Lazy Bum!!!!!!!!!!!!Do I have to run from the other end of the house to pick the call..???Why cant you do it…” bellowing mum…

I give her a lazy wave of my hand and prayed for peace…

“Lekhaaaaaaaaaa…Call for you”

For me??!!! I jump up…who could be it??Friend???Long lost crushes??? I run to the telephone excited…

I clear my throat and say a very sweet “Hellooo…”

“Hey Dumbs!!Its me G3”

“You.???Shucks… I thought….Anyways…whats up??”

“Ohh…you thought it was one of those jobless crushes??Come on darls there are a lot of prettier girls in town these days..(She can be dead blunt sometimes)..Ya in case you got nothing to do come over…Mom has made something you like…”

“Yipeeeeeeee..”I banged the phone…Anything for food…

I change and run to her place….As I turned the corner to her place..I froze…The heavens have definitely been conspiring…That was him…To date the most handsome guy I had a crush on…(That is if you could exclude Cruise,Pitt,Cage and Fraser)
I could hear violins and suddenly remembered Shah Rukh and Sush in Main Hoon Na….

I could feel my heart in my throat when he flashed that brilliant smile..
Did some one say butterflies???I could feel some in my tummy..

He recognized me…I wanted to jump. Then I remembered I was wearing the most faded of all my T-shirts…

I was visibly shaken and managed a weak smile…

“Hey Pretty girl where have you been…Long time…Had missed having familiar faces around…”

(Eh…Did he say that??He was missing me..Well ehem ehem familiar faces include me also…)

“Ohh was away with work..How bout you??”

For five minutes he kept talking bout his work and blah blah…
All I did was tilt my head and smile…And occasionally do that MadhuBala act of blinking my eyelids…I could see the street disappear…Saw just both of us…in a creamy rosy hue…I could hear the angels singing,stinging their harps…A song sweet and melodious…A cool breeze swept past us…

“Hey…You forgot you purse…!!!” A deep voice broke through the angel songs…

I shook myself back to realty…I saw a pretty thing trotting down the street....

“Hey thanks dear…Meet my wife Divya..You weren’t around when we got married…”

My eyes would’ve just popped out and looked like hanging icicles!!!

I swallowed hard..”Nice meeting you Divya..”
(rite..It was not the heavens but devils conspiring…grrrrr)

I could see him smiling down at her as I chimed in my weak introductions…I was barely listening while she went on their first meetings and marriage…

They were so much in love…
(Sniff sniff…)

As I walked back I said a silent prayer for their happiness and mine too..
(Can’t you see a halo around me and two wings sprouting???)

Some day a prince charming, me, white horse and off course angels singing…


P: S:
Bible says, Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife err “husband”.